2/20/2026 - 11:15am

what's up losers,

so i didn't update this factoid but about 1 month ago my engine overheated and i, in my infinite wisdom, decided it would be super crazy awesome to drive it the rest of the way to work (20 minutes) because "i don't really know what that means exactly or how bad it is?? so hopefully i'll just work it out after work right??" absolutely not of course, the head gasket blew, and now i am suffering the consequences. While I was driving the coolant hose fully disconnected and just dumped the entire tank onto the roadway, causing these problems in the first place. it was secured with a single zip tie.

So there I am, broken down and my car steaming, my lovely manager comes to get my and my sister and we start the workday, whatever. I have to get it towed because it doesn't start anymore.

Now one month later, last night, with the help of my brother in law I have now disassembled most of the engine and replaced the headgasket, cleaned some stuff and replaced other gaskets along the way, resurfaced (shittily) the head, and reassembled. With bated breath I connected the final cables and hoses, refilled the fluids, did everything the funny youtube guy said, and got ready to start it. My Dad standing in front to make sure it doesn't vomit out fluids from the gasket, I attempt to start it. I failed the first time, since it was completely emptied and reassembled I needed to give it a little gas to get it going. AND GO IT DID!!! hooray!!! my problems are gone, I think!!! but then I regain consciousness and see that my dashboard has become not dissimilar to a slot machine. Very stimulating! lights and sounds!!! flashing check engine!! i don't know what this means so I'm having a ball. the exhaust is spitting white smoke, that shit is rattling like a motherfucker, the engine sounds like it has a clickable pen that it is stimming out on faster than I ever could, but running. I look up what some of this means, and oh boy.. CRITICAL ISSUES?? MISFIRING??? ROCKER ARMS LOOSE??? running it for extended time will DESTROY THE CATALYTIC CONVERTER??? chat I am cooked. fucked, even. perhaps i have become the victim of my hubris. My dash lets me know politely that the TPMS, VGA, Power steering, and emissions system might maybe sort of be having problems. HOW the fuck power steering and VGA are having issues despite being untouched is beyond me. a 1 mile radius around my house now smells of lovely fuel rich exhaust.

So look, after a month of using all my days off looming over a disassembled engine, and thinking I was smelling victory, I was actually smelling the beginning of a project car. I don't want a project car!!! I WANT TO GO TO WORK!! - I do not actually want to go to work but i need money - I desire SOME SLIGHT INDEPENDENCE! Alas. Perchance.

In conclusion, this thing is probably beyond me. Sure I could spend yet another month fixing issues, perhaps two, spending all my paychecks, and getting it stable. BUT I do not have that time!!! My brother's car, which I am usually borrowing or being taxied around in, is about to become unavailable as he (finally) gets a job at a fire department!!! So i'll probably do my little car dealership trip of shame, take the $500 for my shitbox, and get another used sad little guy to drive around for the next 6 months. As I'm still paying off the old one. You know what's better than a car payment?? 2 car payments. This is going to be fantastic. Life is rich and full of adventure (only slight sarcasm).

godspeed my friends,

Koen't