6/20/2026 - 11:31pm

good evening once again losers,

further we progress into fire academy.

I do think I have found my calling. at least something that I can comfortably do until I retire. Rather, something that by its very nature will never allow me to be comfortable. Which is what I want!

I still yearn for more with my music, and can see some crazy volunteering adventures in my future, assuming I have nothing to tie me down. But you know what?? this career offers some voluptious PTO, so I can manage that.

In other news?? I don't know, not much. This has pretty much consumed me. Lots of growth though!

I feel like I understand firsthand what leadership feels like. Not all that good at it yet, but I have a foundation to build off of.

I discovered a genuine confidence, and what has been crushing it before. I thought self-esteem issues would be a consistent struggle for the forseeable future. But I managed to dissect it, more or less! A few habits and behaviors need to be broken to really put it in the grave, but I have direction. Direction and mechanisms to identify and correct it.

And the comraderie! I love my engine company. A mere 7 weeks together and I feel such a unique bond. And to think this isn't even the real thing? Throw some trauma bonding in here and it's cake.

Oh, I guess I do have some "in other news." I was sick for a few days last week, which prompted me to start watching Severance. I don't watch much tv, but put me in bed for a few hours and I'll pick something. A big fan, to say the least. Highly recommend. Similar vibes to The Good Place, in my opinion a stronger execution. Cool ethical situations! Lots to ponder. Also interesting, I've never found romance in shows really relatable before now. Haven't watched much since dating Emma, and now I can see myself in those shoes a bit more. Makes me a little nicer to the characters for making bad decisions.

I continue to crank out lots of music behind the scenes, but god forbid I polish any of it for release. More for the burn pile.

I'm considering getting a lot less conscientious with it. Putting out bad art. Just for the bit!!! Much better than never putting out anything. I went ahead and uploaded an old song I've been holding onto. Got lots more of those.

I may just spit-shine what I have and drop another EP. 3 songs I'm happy with there. Then I could turn all these love songs into a project as well.

Life is good. Sometimes less so. Sometimes more. Right now we're trending up.

godspeed,

koen